BLOG FROM THE PAST: Kaycee

Dear Jenny Rei,

(posted May 26, 2007)

Kaycee..

06 February 2002, my eldest child..  the source of my strength during those darkest days of my life.. 

actually, i still have the pregnancy kit that confirmed me her existence..  life was no picnic for me during my pregnancy with her..  two weeks after we confirmed that i was pregnant, my company suffered a great loss that leads to closure..  bad news to the highest level coz that time, her father was also unemployed..  sure there's the so-called separation pay but AA Ceramics gave us that benefits in a 3-gives installment manner and on every other month basis..

hormonal changes or the hard time whatsoever, i became so damn "bugnutin" - a trait which my husband so dislike..  when he got the chance to pursue his studies, he started living like single as well..  thanks to his mom i still have my regular monthly check-up but life as we know it is most of the times so damn hard to live..  you just cant imagine the heartaches i've been through on the duration of my pregnancy, but i miraculously remained strong, i have to, for the sake of the fragile life in my womb..

my husband doesn't care, but i still live through..  we have no money, but i managed to live..  everyday and every night i was rubbing my tummy telling my child that she has nothing to worry about because mommy wont let anything or anyone to harm her..  i always told her that she must endure the pain that she's feeling from me..  two weeks before i gave birth my husband and i had a fight, simply because he doesn't want his school to discover that he's very much married already and that has an expecting wife..

during those two weeks we didn't talk, he doesn't care and no nothing..  i endured the pain of being preggy alone, and i just tried to swallow the lump in my throat every time I'm seeing a couple who's happily being together..  i always reminded myself "don't go there.."

i started to feel the pain of laboring around 2 o'clock in the morning, i always thought that maybe it was because of the heavy fight *again* that my husband and i argued the night before that..  finally, around 5:15 in the afternoon, my first glimpse of my little angel..

so cute, so cuddly and so delicate..  i was afraid to hold her, i don't know how, im afraid i might break her or something..  how long has it been?  5 years and 3 months..  she's now a very lovely young lady in her pre-school..  she's tall for her age, thanks to my genes ü..  she made me go up in the stage with her as early as her nursery graduation..  she's the "most diligent" and the "best in memorization" on their class..

she's actually acting matured for her age..  she preferred her shoes and sandals, please note, with heels ü..  and she loves wearing skirts..  she already has her own powder, cologne, lotion, shampoo, soap, comb and other girlie stuff..  she doesn't want to be called "payat" coz for her she's "sexy"..

it would take me forever to write all the things about her, when all i actually want to say is that im so proud to be her "mimi" ü..  love you so ate ü..

May 26, 2007 in Angels From Heaven | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)