a jerk, a liar and an actor..

Dear Jenny Rei,

Walang mahal na ginagago..

Totoo naman diba?  Paano mo masasabing mahal mo ang isang tao kung ginagago mo sya ng paulit-ulit ulit ulit?  Kung sasabihin mo pa ring mahal mo talaga sya, then you have a very weird way of proving your love.  Or maybe hindi mo na talaga sya mahal, you’re just saying that as an excuse to bed her coz quite honestly, alam mong wala ng babaeng seseryoso or papatol sa’yo ng totoo.  They’ll just be there coz of your money, if any.  

Ang taong sinungaling at ma-drama..

Have you ever met a person na lahat yata ng kwentong lumalabas sa bibig nya ay puro kasinungalingan?  Lahat ng version nya ay puro habi habi lang hoping na hindi mo malalaman ang totoo?  But then if after 3-5years ay palarin kang makasama or makausap ang ibang taong nadulas ang dila or may nahalungkat kang hindi dapat, automatic excuse na raw sya sa kagaguhan nya before kasi nga matagal nang nangyari yun.

And what’s more funny?  Kapag galit na galit ka na, aaryahan ka niya ng kung anu-anong ka-dramahan para lang maawa ka sa kanya.  At kapag hindi ka pa rin natinag, titirahin ka nya sa paraang alam nyang mag-re-react ka-- budget.  Since alam na alam nyang wala kang ibang matatakbuhan at wala kang trabaho, doon ka naman nya gigipitin.  You see, sya rin ang klase ng tao na proud na proud sa sarili dahil meron syang magandang trabaho ngayon.  Well, let’s congratulate the man then, shall we?  Because finally, after 12 long years simula ng kayo ay ikinasal, sa wakas ay nakadale na rin sya ng isang masasabing well-paying job.  Kaya naman sobrang feeling special ng taong ito at actually feeling demanding na rin sa halos lahat ng bagay.  Feeling excused na rin sya sa lahat  ng secret kagaguhan nya.  Hay haay haaay.  I know, right?  Yep, may ganyan talagang klase ng tao na existing pa rin hanggang ngayon.  How sad, ayt?

to dream the impossible dream..

Dear Jenny Rei,

I know right?  It spells tragedy with capital ”T”.

One starry night, about ages and a half ago, when I asked the falling star na sana kami na, I never would’ve thought it would be like this.  Never would’ve imagined it would be this tragic.  I must’ve been really really evil in my past life to deserve this kind of marriage situations.  It’s really sad..  Heartbreaking beyond compare..

How is it that the most common things between couples are the hardest and almost impossible for me to achieve?  Am I really a bitch?  Do I really not deserve a normal marriage?  It never fails to bring me to tears whenever I think about those simple things that seem unreachable for me.  So many things had happened.  Sometimes it surprised me how come I’m still alive.

Honestly, I know I’m a good woman.  I know I really am..  I really can’t comprehend why did I end up so messed up and why no one seems to really care about me..  Most men say they do but they’re only after bedding me.  Someone I knew says he does but keeps on hurting and hurting and hurting me that I’m already on my stomach lying flat in the mud but isn’t contented yet and seems he’s having a good time that he even stepped and jumped and danced at the back of my head just to make sure I’m buried deep and unable to recover.

What’s so wrong about wanting a normal marriage?  A normal couple without any third parties whatsoever.  A couple who are friends and connected in any social network.  A couple who knew the direct line in each other’s offices.  A couple that is both registered in cellphone finder.  A couple who knew the PIN of each other’s ATM.  A couple who show each other’s payslip.  A couple who is known and friends with each other’s officemates.

Am I asking for too much?  What’s so wrong about making it happen?