Sunday, September 30, 2012

BLOG FROM THE PAST: Feeling Senti..

Dear Jenny Rei,


(posted August 17, 2007)

feeling senti..

i've been through a lot..  but i swear i've never felt this down before..  i feel like crying, but i mustn't, not when my kids are around..  my eldest would surely ask me why and i can't answer her without confusing her..  that would lead to another question when i know i really can't give her answers, maybe not yet..  she's too young for complications..


i feel like dying while holding back my tears and i swear my throat scream havoc as i keep myself from letting out a sob..  i keep myself busy the whole afternoon, so my mind won't think of anything else..  i watched movies with my kids, i played with them like i used to, i cleaned up every now and then..  i tire them up so they would sleep early..  i want them to sleep early so i could finally release my tears..  and so i did my drama anthology while listening to my favorite love songs (para may effect kunwari ü..  nah..)  and seems like nakikisama ang panahon, its raining really hard..

i'm not sure what time na ako nakatulog, all i know is that i really drained myself out and maybe fell asleep sa sobrang pagod..  as i kissed my daughters' forehead, i envy them for having such peaceful sleep, kahit kelan, nothing beats being a child..

well, i guess this is life..  its nothing without a laugh and impossible without tears..

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